racism and wish lists

Perhaps you saw The Blindside?

It’s a 2009 movie based on the story of Michael Oher and Leigh Ann Tuohy, a black teen and the white woman whose family adopted him, “saved him” the movie would have us believe. Oher went on to football glory, and Tuohy turned this deed into a life of “You know The Blindside? That’s my family.” Seriously, it says so right on her website.

This week, Tuohy posted about an episode in her life. This is what she wrote, exactly as she wrote it:“We see what we want! It's the gospel truth! These two (black male teens) were literally huddled over in a corner table nose to nose and the person with me said "I bet they are up to no good" well you know me... I walked over, told them to scoot over. After 10 seconds of dead silence I said so whats happening at this table? I get nothing.. I then explained it was my store and they should spill it... They showed me their phones and they were texting friends trying to scrape up $3.00 each for the high school basketball game! Well they left with smiles, money for popcorn and bus fare. We gave to STOP judging people and assuming and pigeon holing people! Don't judge a book by its cover or however you'd like to express the sentiment! Accept others and stoping seeing what you want to see!!! ‪#‎LeighAnnesSundaySermon‬ ‪#‎BelieveInOthers‬”

The accompanying photo was Tuohy, arms around both the guys, having them smile for her friend’s camera. There were so many things wrong with this. (You can read a deeper analysis here: http://bellejar.ca/2014/12/15/leigh-anne-tuohy-racism-and-the-white-saviour-complex/.) In order to prove that her friend was wrong in assuming the worst about these teens, Tuohy inserted herself into their quiet conversation and insisted they show her their phones to prove to her they weren’t plotting to destroy the world or knock over a liquor store. They were minding their own business, and suddenly had to show their phone messages to a white stranger. And have their picture taken. Not just the police anymore, apparently. Now, if you’re black, any white person can demand to examine your phone. But the worst part was all the comments that followed (copied and pasted as they appear):• Ms Leigh Anne you are truly a beautiful person. If there were more people with a heart like yours, there would be less judging and more helping.• Wonderful lesson in humanity. Bless you.• Now this is something refreshingly positive for a change!• Loved this. Leigh Anne walks the walk.• Well said. Thanks for opening our eyes. Thousands of these. Plus an overwhelming number of awesomes, you’re amazings, god bless yous, you’re beautifuls, and you’re my heros. My facebook friend who posted it simply commented “truth.”And see the hashtags? “Sunday sermon” and “believe in others.” Living her faith for Tuohy equals “making others prove they aren’t what we fear.”

Then I heard from a friend in another city about her office Christmas party, which included a game based on gift-giving for a distressed family in the community. The workers all had a fun time delivering gifts they didn’t actually purchase (that was part of the game), then the family was brought over to be grateful in person. The family, whose native language was not English, got to be swamped by cheerful, mostly white, English-speaking employed people, whose office had just thrown the workers a lunch party at a really nice restaurant. (Though the family in need didn’t actually get to eat lunch.) Then, the family got thrust into a picture, posted on multiple websites, surrounded by cheery, smiling people they couldn’t understand.

And lately, it is painfully clear once again how often we completely miss the point on race, power and privilege.At Woodside and other churches, we try to do generous things, especially at Christmas. That’s a good thing. And since one of the most prayed-for gifts (aside from things you can buy at amazon) is world peace, you could argue that we generally have good hearts. But something is amiss. Racism. Classism. Paternalism. It all smacks of self-righteousness, self-absorption. We want things to change for other people, but not enough to deal with the way our own lives would change. We need change that makes us feel good. We call it world peace; Isaiah and the prophets call it “the reign of God.” We pray for it, seek it, dream of it, cling to the promise of it. We are also invited to work for it. World peace won’t arrive in a package with a bow under a tree. But it may begin when we see the “other” as a brother or sister, a person, a child of God; when we, like John the Baptist, devote ourselves to pointing to something bigger than ourselves. When we quit barging into other people lives claiming “it’s my store” as if we have all the answers or even a right to a place at their table. When we quit seeing blackness as an undesirable “cover” by which we shouldn’t judge the book and generosity-divorced-from-justice as the highest virtue.

When we realize what we need to be saved from is ourselves. And our selfies.